Celebrating Life...

Well, it’s my birthday.  I have had a lot of birthdays in my time.  A few parties, gifts, and their memories linger for many of them. 

 I remember turning eighteen: I had been up all night finishing a paper for my Contemporary History class.  I slept in, and then went to school in the afternoon. When I got home, there were eighteen pink roses waiting for me, a gift from my boyfriend.

Most of my birthday celebrations were family affairs.  As a child, I was allowed to choose what I wanted for supper on my birthday: I always chose barbequed spare ribs.  And mostly got them…

As a mother with small children, my birthday became less of an occasion as my children’s birthdays took center stage.  My youngest was born on May 27^th, so I stopped having my own birthday cake.  It was just too much to have two birthday cakes in two days.

I remember my fortieth birthday.  I spent the day alone, moping.  When it was finally over, I was ready to carry on with my life.  Just that day bothered me….

That’s sort of where I am right now, without the moping.  I celebrate the day with family and then just carry on…. I have reached the age where many of my friends and acquaintances have died.  Any thoughts of immortality or invulnerability are gone…

Each day is like a birthday: waking up and being grateful for the day I have been given.  By making every day special, a birthday is less of a celebration and more of a normal occurrence. I like it that way: celebrating the everyday and appreciating what each day brings. 

And yes, celebrating birthdays is still fun.  My kids will be here later today for a BBQ, not spare ribs but hamburgers.  And the cake is left over from John’s birthday in March.  It’s a little munched after being in the freezer but, I’m sure, it will still be delicious.

Happy Today!  This is my present….

Finding What You're Looking For...

Sometimes, as I read posts on social networking sites, I just want to scream.  People ranting about everything that is wrong in this world.  People who know what they want to know and nothing else.  Yes, I could scream, but that’s not what I do….I stop reading them instead.  I read things I totally disagree with, yet I am not willing to comment.  Why?  That’s where those people are looking, and they don’t want to change..

We find what we are looking for….

In the past, I was somewhat of a Negative Nellie.  I would have a performance evaluation at work and, typically, I would forget the 99 good things and focus on the 1 thing that needed “improvement.”  I didn’t need a manager to tell me what was wrong with me, I already knew.  And so, I was nearly crushed under the weight of the negative comment.

Not such a great way to live, believe me.  It’s okay to be sensitive and caring, but having such thin skin was quite detrimental to my everyday existence.  I was constantly criticizing myself for my mistakes, or my failures, or my inadequacies.  And I usually found some way to improve the source of the negative comment.

And then something happened…

To say “I got older” is too simplistic.  As I grew older, I began to be kinder to myself and more lenient with my mistakes.  Why?  Perhaps because I was starting to realize that, good or bad, I am who I am.  As the positivity started infecting me, I began to be more forgiving and more tolerant of myself.

I changed what I was looking for…

Taking five minutes each day to look around and find the positives started changing my life….and me.  The glass started being half instead of half empty.  The sky was bluer.  The birds now sing louder.  My prayers are full of gratitude instead of supplications.  I woke up and realized that I am in a really good place now.

I can’t take full credit for my change of philosophy.  I owe a huge debt to the wonderful man who came into my life.  No, he didn’t make me happier, I did.  I firmly believe that we are each responsible for our own happiness…

All he did was love me.  Just the way I am flaws and all.  And I started to like myself better, too.  Yes, I do love him, but I also love me when I am around him.  He helped me see myself as he sees me, instead of in the negative light that I was used to…

I know that there is a war raging in many parts of the world.  I know that children go to bed hungry.  Innocent people are murdered.  Or robbed.  Or enslaved.  Famine, drought, hunger, poverty, political machinations, slavery, dishonesty….it’s all around us.

 

And so are miracles.  And random acts of kindness.  And people who are willing to go out of their way to help others.  People making a difference.  Just as I try to make a difference in some small, meaningful way. 

That’s what I find when I go looking…

Scatter-brained….

There was a time when I would have used that term to describe myself, but not now.  It’s still true: I am “scattered” these days.  But I made a promise to myself that I would try to be as nice to me as I try to be to others.

So, no more name-calling, even just “in my head.”  I am not “stupid” or a “moron” or “lazy” or any of the other descriptives that I used to apply to myself.  I am “smart” and “busy” but not scatter-brained. 

That said, I am still scattered.  There are so many things I want to do, or need to do, that I sometimes don’t know where to start.  Fortunately, I have no problem leaving all those things to ferment whilst my love and I go off on another adventure!

What’s fermenting in my brain right now?  I want to write more, attend to my blog more, and somehow become more disciplined in the whole blog thing.  I also want to learn more of the “nuts and bolts” of web sites and layouts and advertisers and content and yada, yada, yada.

I am really Jones-ing to get to my art journaling, too.  I have so many wonderful supplies and journals and ideas in my head.  I have things to remember and lists to make and drawings to draw and, well, just lots of stuff to journal.  And to be a journalist, I guess.

I have hiking trails to try and clothes to make (or not) and parties to plan and an antiques booth to keep stocked.  And then, there’s the house….

Not only are there rooms to clean, and rugs to beat and flowers to plant, but there are window frames and moldings and doors to paint.  It never ends, does it?

So, where does that leave me?  Scattered?  Over-planned? Too busy to ever get it all done?  Or what?

Ah, that’s the best part: being busy all the time!  True, sometimes I’m “busy” reading or resting, but it’s busy nonetheless…

Life is full to the brim for me and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I will enjoy each moment and fill it with what feels right at the time.  If the house gets cleaned, that’s great but, if my art journal gets started, that’s even better!

When I’m gone, I want them to say: “her house wasn’t always clean but her heart and her life were full.”

That works for me…

Cali

[P]interesting....

It’s hard to believe that summer is almost over, but it is.  Around here, the kids are back in school, even as the temperatures are languishing perilously close to the triple digit mark.  But the seasons really are in transition, I believe. Yesterday, I purchased faux flowers (I love that term) in lovely fall colors…

I have a party coming up a month from today, and I want to be ready.  Of course, that means turning to my fave internet site: Pinterest .  With almost 36,000 “pins” to date, you might think that my house is cleaned using homemade, environmentally-friendly household ingredients. My house is impeccably decorated for the current holiday season. Our meals are healthy, nutritious, and beautiful to see. We travel to exotic places frequently. I wear fashionable clothes, accessorize perfectly, wear cute shoes, and use Nutella in hundreds of different ways. Oh, and I buy things at flea markets and spruce them up with chalk paint…

Yeah, right.

I guess, for some, Pinterest is the stuff of daydreams, or good intentions.  Or just a “trip” to another place, I suppose.  Not me.  I have actually made some of the recipes I have pinned, used some of the cleaning tips, decorated with ideas I saw on Pinterest, and  printed out my favorite quotes.

It’s not all about me, either.  I have a board full of garden ideas for him to do….(hasn’t happened yet, but I’m an optimist!).  I have found great ideas for birthday presents, birthday cards, and scrapbooking.

It’s a never-ending journey of discovery and learning.  Fascination and frustration.  No, the recipes aren’t always tested, the chalk paint may be a little thick, and the “easy” thing isn’t always easy.  It’s a lot of trial and error but, as one of my favorite quotes says: “if you’re not failing, you’re not trying.”

And so, I pin.  Every day, at least once a day.  I find the most wonderful things and add them to my life. Some of my current favorite “things” are:

I have collected quotes forever, but now they're all in one place!

 

My favorite place to be....

A fairly new board filled with snippets of history.

 

I started this board when I was planning my studio.

 

Would LOVE to have an RV again!

Who doesn't like cheap?

 

My current fave color (sorry, Pink!)

 

I'm really liking industrial style right now...

Whatever you do today, enjoy the ride!

Cali