Thank you, Nathaniel(s)....

Both of you…. 

On Tuesday, I went to the local AT&T store and purchased my new iPhone 5.  Yes, I know the next version will be out soon—this summer—but I wanted mine now.  After almost an hour in the store, I left with the new phone (and its hot pink cover) in my hand…

We had other errands to run, so I didn’t get a chance to plug the phone into my laptop and download my apps until the early afternoon.  Well, the “quite simple” process became less so: the phone “froze” in the iTunes home screen.

Nothing I did changed anything.  I turned it off, and then back on.  I restarted my computer and plugged the phone in again.  Nothing.  Just the same, stupid, frozen screen….

(I remember when I was four years old and our phone was on a party line.  I didn’t have any trouble with it: I would pick it up and listen, that’s all.  Of course, at four, I didn’t realize that it was rude to listen in on a party line when others were having a conversation.  When the operator called my mother to report my activities, I received a lecture on privacy and respect.  Oh well, nothing “froze”….)

So, the next step was to go BACK to the AT&T store and get them to fix it.  As I walked in the door, the greeter asked me what I needed and I explained that my phone was frozen.  She then asked when I bought it and I told her “three hours ago” and when she asked where, I said “here”….

And so, I met Nathaniel  Number 1.  He plugged my phone into a computer and tried to “unlock” it.  Then he tried another computer.  No luck, still frozen.  He then excused himself and went to talk to his manager.  When he returned, he was on his cell phone, talking to someone about me. It soon became apparent that he was talking to Apple Care….

After the phone call ended, he told me what my two options were:  1) go home and call Apple’s tech line and have them walk me through the process of unlocking my phone; or 2) drive an hour to the nearest Apple Store and have their techs do it for me.

And I was frustrated—and rude—to him.  “How can I CALL tech support when the ONLY phone I have is locked and won’t work?”  He could have been rude right back, but he wasn’t.  He was empathetic and supportive.  I apologized for my outburst and he said he would feel the same way…

And so, I went back home and picked up my laptop and John so he could make the trip to Fresno with me.  Of course, in my frustration/confusion/whatever, I gave him the wrong driving instructions and we drove an extra half hour to get to the Apple Store….

I felt so guilty that I encouraged him to sit in a comfy chair in the mall and have a Starbuck’s coffee while I took care of my phone problems...

Enter Nathaniel Number 2:  a very nice young man in his late twenties or early thirties.  Even though he hadn’t used Windows in fourteen years (he’s a Mac), he was able to help me navigate my laptop to facilitate the process.  Not only was he patient, he taught me some things I didn’t know…and need to know.  It turns out that I have to block my Avast “firewall” in order to download stuff from iTunes…

I explained what was going on with my phone and that I had no intention of going home until it was fixed AND all my apps were downloaded from iTunes.  He apologized for my long trip to the store and agreed to help me do all that before I left.

While my apps were downloading, he went to help another customer.  There I sat, staring at my playlist on iTunes, on an HP laptop!  Right next to me was a Mac.  On the other side of the table were two people with iPads….I felt like a fish out of water.

So, when Nathaniel Number 2 came back, and my apps were all downloaded, I thanked him for not making fun of my weird playlist.  He looked through my songs and mentioned several artists that he liked, too.  He noticed that I have Rufus Wainwright’s version of Hallelujah and he said Leonard Cohen’s versions are his favorites.  I asked if he had heard k.d. lang’s version and he hadn’t:  he plans to download it and listen to it for himself….

As six pm approached, NN2 excused himself: he had to leave because they are not allowed to have overtime.  He found someone else to help me with signing up for Apple Care + and he was off to clock out and go home….

So, what was supposed to be easy wasn’t.  What should have taken about an hour took most of the day.  And yet, what I will remember about the experience, and the day, is the two Nathaniels.  Two very different-looking men who tried everything they could to help me, and finally succeeded.

At my age, days are not to be wasted, and Tuesday certainly was not a waste.  I have my new phone, it actually works, and I met two young men who renewed my faith in “the younger generation”…. As I approach my birthday (Saturday), I am thankful that I have had the opportunity to have many positive experiences in my life….

And thankful for the two Nathaniels….

Cali

Farewell....

What can I say?  My heart hurts right now.  A beautiful lady who was a huge part of my life for nearly forty years has died….

  

She has had Alzheimer’s disease for more than a decade and didn’t even recognize her own sons when they came to see her.  I know it was hard on them because my ex-husband (her first-born son) and I have talked about it.

My daughter told me today that she is saddened, too.  She thought she “shouldn’t be” because Grandma has been gone from all of us for a long, long time.  As I told her, the fact is that we are never prepared to lose a loved one, no matter how imminent the death might be.

She’s gone.  How can that be?  It isn’t fair, that’s for sure.  She was more to me than a mother-in-law; she was my Other Mother.   She was my shelter from the storm of my relationship with my own mother.  She was everything I wished my mother had been: kind, caring, gentle, loving and approachable.  As odd as it might sound, my mother was never approachable……  Yet my Other Mother was always there for me, as I tried to be for her.

Walking in the orange groves, after supper, so many years ago when I was pregnant with my first child, we would talk.  My husband worked evenings and my in-laws invited me out to their ranch for supper at least one night a week.  So, we talked.  We walked along a row of orange trees highlighted by the setting sun and she answered my questions about my pregnancy.

Over and over again, I asked her to tell me about “labor” and what I would be going through.  I asked her what things I needed to have on hand before the baby came home from the hospital.  And I listened in amazement as she described how I would feel when I saw my baby for the first time.

And she nailed it…

I remember after Steve and I separated that  she hoped we would reconcile.  She even “set us up” by asking each of us to come out to the ranch and help her on a Saturday afternoon.  I hadn’t seen Steve in a while as he was dating someone else and so was I….

It was hard to see her so desperate to fix something that was irretrievably broken, and neither of us could get mad at her for trying so hard.  And neither of us was in a place to try to fix it.  It was over, but NOT my relationship with my Other Mother.

She continued to be my friend and called me frequently to see how I was doing.  After her husband died, she called me and asked me to come by and see her.  She had a gift for me: a beautiful, dark red flower vase.   She wanted me to have something of hers to remember her by.

As if I needed an object to remind me of her…..

And now she’s gone.  Gone to a place where she is whole again and not suffering.  We are left with our memories—wonderful memories—of a beautiful woman, a beautiful person.  We will talk about her often, sharing stories and remembering her with much love and affection.

 

And shed some tears, too….

Cali

Extras...

No, not the nameless faces in a movie crowd scene or the toppings on a pizza…… I’m talking about people, and the little things they do, every day, for others.

Today was the day we had an appointment at the DMV.  We rushed through a smog inspection first, and then off to the land of wait-in-line.  It’s not the first time we have attempted to register his Honda in California and get new license plates.  The last time, our DMV was closed, so we went to another nearby town.  As we pulled into the parking lot, the line was out the door and around the corner…..we went home.

As he was talking to a man behind the counter, another employee told me to “move over” so she could help another customer.  I was taken aback but then remembered where I was and obediently moved over….

We sat in the sea of people and listened to a variety of languages being spoken, and sob stories about misplaced pink slips or “undeserved” tickets….  When it was our turn, the gentleman who waited on us was very courteous and helpful.  He even loaned us a screwdriver to get the license plates off the car: no new plates without turning in the old plates.

As I stood at the window, writing the check for the registration, he went out with the screw driver to get the plates off the car.  The look on his face when he came back in told me that it didn’t go well.  Not only was the screw driver not the appropriate tool to get the plates off, but he locked his keys in the trunk….

Now it was my turn to go outside and call AAA.  The very nice woman I spoke to told me that she would have someone out to help me “within a half an hour”………I explained that we were at the DMV, being waited on, and could it be sooner?  She said she would make us a priority call….

I went back inside with the DMV clerk to finish the paperwork while he stayed by the car to wait for the tow truck driver.  He came back in after only five minutes: the tow truck had already been there and retrieved the keys. 

We made an appointment to come back in an hour and a half, with the license plates, and then went home to try to get them off.  No luck….  So, I called the only person I could think of who might be able to help us soon: the contractor who is remodeling our kitchen.

 

And yes, he came over within half an hour of my call.  And with a few attempts to find just the right tool, he got the screws off and our license plates, too.  It didn’t hurt that we squirted WD-40 around the screws before he got there….

We rushed back to the DMV, paperwork and license plates in hand.  As we stood in “Line 1”, waiting to get a number, the man who helped us earlier spotted us and motioned us to come over to his counter.  Within five minutes, the paperwork was complete and we had our California license plates and were out the door….

I honestly believe that we get back what we give out.  I think it’s human nature to be kind to those who are kind to us.  I’d like to think that kindness is contagious, truly….  I do appreciate the smog guy, the DMV guy, the AAA guy, and our contractor, for turning a difficult situation into a positive experience….

Cheerfully….

Cali

Ordinary Days...

Today was just a day.  Just like any other, more or less.  For me, anyway….

Yet, as I think about it, I can’t tell you how many babies were born today.  I do know that we have surpassed 7 billion people on this planet….  And I don’t know how many people died today, but quite a few, I’m sure.   So my own, ordinary day, was somebody’s birthday.  And someone else passed on from this veil of tears.

Perhaps it was the actual birth day of someone’s long-awaited baby.  Or perhaps it marked the end of suffering and pain for someone else’s beloved family member, or friend.

And today, somewhere, somebody moved into their new home, making their dreams come true.  And someone else was forced to leave his home, after fighting foreclosure.  And still someone else lost their home to a fire, or a flood, or some other natural disaster.

Today, somebody ate too much, and promised herself she would go on a diet tomorrow.  Someone else has an aching emptiness in his stomach, from day after day of not having enough to eat.  And somewhere else, a teenage girl looked in a mirror and saw a “fat pig”……and won’t eat anything at all.

Someone is recovering from surgery today.  Some surgical procedure was done that was not even heard of twenty years ago.  A life saved.  And somewhere, the organs were harvested from someone who lost their fight for life, and in return, their organs will save the lives of countless others.

Somewhere, a father hugged his child today.  A mother picked up her children at daycare and took them home and fixed their supper.  And somewhere else, a mother sobs unrelenting tears, frightened and separated from her child.  Somewhere, a kidnapped child is living the terror that no child should ever know.

Today, a child received an award in school for being the best at math.  Or language.  Or sports.  And elsewhere on this little blue ball, another child sits in the dirt and longs to be able to go to school and learn.  Today, a teacher inspired a young mind to grow up to be a scientist and discover the cure for cancer.  And today, a scientist in a research lab got one step closer to a cure for diabetes.  Or muscular dystrophy.  Or asthma.

As I sit here, complacently, thinking that I had a good day but an ordinary day.  People all over the world are proving me wrong.  Life is not ordinary, even on the most ordinary day.  It is a fascinating dance between us and this thing we call Life.  It is as much, or as little as we make of it…..

There are no ordinary days….

Cali

Collaboration....

Is it Tuesday already?  Good intentions.  I have lots of them….

Last week was rainy.  Every day, it seems, was dark and cold and wet.  Bad weather for working in the garden, great weather for being creative….  I have always had a creative bent, making what I could out of what I had.  It served me well when I was a young mommy with children who grew out of their clothes as fast as I could sew them.

Since retiring last year, I have found new creative outlets.   My daughter and I have been scrapbooking together since last fall.  We both enjoy being the keeper of our family’s memories and doing it in an artful form…

With the rain last week, and derailed plans of working in the garden, I turned to creative endeavors.  And I had an epiphany: I enjoy creating scrapbooks as much as I enjoy filling them with memories.  That explains why the shelves in my crafts’ room are overflowing with things I have made.  And it causes me some sense of guilt.  What’s the use of creating something that will just sit on a shelf?

So, when my daughter came to visit last Thursday, I offered a suggestion: since she is so busy with her full time job and her family, I could make some things for her to sell in her online shop.  I was tentative about making the suggestion as I didn’t want to step on her toes….

No need for trepidation as she was thrilled with the idea.  She was lamenting the fact that she has so little time to make things to sell, and my contributions would be greatly appreciated.  And no, I am not advertising here.  I will not share the what or the where of our collaboration as that’s not relevant.

What was meant to be a quick get-together last Thursday, for my daughter and me, turned into a day of planning.  We talked and laughed and thought of all kinds of things we would like to do and make.  It was fun.  It IS fun, to collaborate with my daughter.

The days since that first “business meeting” have been quite busy.  I have made half a dozen products for her to put in her shop.  I have ideas for another dozen or so things.  And, come this Christmas season, when my daughter designs things to sell, I will be busy in my workshop, producing them for her.

Last evening, I read the blog she wrote yesterday.  If I had any doubts that she was as enthusiastic as I am about what we are doing, her blog erased them.  It was delightful to read her rememberances of the things I created when she was a child.  And I was reassured by her kind and thoughtful words about our joint efforts….

While it’s not all that important in the overall scheme of things, this collaboration is something to celebrate, to me.  We have had our times apart, my daughter and me, while we fought our own battles and didn’t impose on each other.  We have never been estranged, or anywhere near estranged, but we have not been as actively involved in each other’s lives as we are now.  We are mother and daughter, dear friends, and now, collaborators…

In a creative way, that is….

Cali

The Spirit of the Season...

Since the beginning of time, or at least, since humans realized that the days were shorter and the nights longer, in the winter, we have celebrated the winter solstice.  Different cultures have recognized the time as a rebirth, of sorts, and celebrated with holidays and festivals.

For centuries, different cultures have commemorated the rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem with a holiday occurring near the winter solstice.  And other cultures have celebrated the birth of the Christ Child in a manger, in a stable, in the Middle East.  More recently, it has become a time to honor African-American heritage and culture.

In a song, it’s the most wonderful time of the year.  Yet, that’s hard for some to accept.  Was it wonderful when loved ones were thousands of miles away, in harm’s way, fighting a war?  Was it wonderful in 1929 when the Stock Market had just crashed?  Is it wonderful today, with double digit unemployment?  It’s double digit where I live, anyway….

Ah, and the nightly news does nothing to make things merry and bright, does it?  Unspeakable crimes, political shenanigans, death, destruction and despair rule the airwaves, it seems.  Just yesterday, there was a story about a small town north of Podunk, where all the toys donated to make Christmas “merry” for needy children were stolen….

Tonight, on the news, they showed the long line of cars full of people waiting to donate toys to replace those that were stolen.  It’s a small town, but the donators came from towns all over the valley in an attempt to replace more than 3000 toys in just 24 hours. 

It was uplifting to watch families with children bringing toys to donate to other, less fortunate children.  What a wonderful lesson to teach all of us:  it is better to give than to receive…. And tomorrow, the celebration will go on as planned: free hot meal, gifts for the children, and 65 cubic yards of shipped-in snow to help make Christmas merry and bright.

Of course, there are Secret Santas at work all over this country right now.  Some have paid off layaways at Kmart stores so children can have Christmas after all.  And others are paying for tanks of gas for amazed gas station customers.  Still others have taken toys to children in hospitals, or gifts to the elderly in nursing homes.

Perhaps the spirit of the season is still alive and well, despite the economy.  Perhaps there truly is hope for this little blue marble we live on.  Perhaps man’s inhumanity to man has a noble opponent in those who would commit kindnesses to others without expecting anything in return….

Perhaps the spirit of Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, or whatever you choose to call it, is alive and well.

And this world isn’t all bad….