Sunny Places....

Well, today started out foggy and the sun came out later, midday.

I sat in the dining room and read a new magazine from cover to cover. I looked at all the lovely rooms on display and looked around at my own house. I am glad to say that my own rooms please me as much as the rooms in the magazine.

Perhaps, after all these years, I have found myself, or at least, my decorating style. I like the color I painted my living room walls, and the crisp, white crown molding that I had put in years ago. It did take me three tries to get the color I wanted, but that's okay, too.

I looked out the window and the daffodils my mother planted almost thirty years ago are blooming.

One of the things that I saw in the magazine I read was an article about a website. Two young women sell all kinds of things for baking: cupcake cups, sprinkles, decorative picks, boxes, bags, and other delights for decorating cakes and cupcakes. I had to go online and order some pretty things for Valentines Day.

The website is LayerCakeShop.com

And then, I went down to the dealership to pick up my car. The indicator light was on because the tires needed more air pressure. They filled the tires and then washed my car. And didn't charge me anything for their efforts.

On the way home from picking up the car, I listened to the satellite radio, on one of my favorite stations: “Fifties on 5”. The tunes made me smile....

So, I guess sunshine comes in many different forms. All of which make me smile.

Cali

Life and Ands.....

It's a cloudy, rainy Sunday afternoon. It's cold, too.

I don't know where last week went. It seemed to just whiz by in a blur. Is that how life is? A blur?

I hope not.

Maybe it's time to slow down and savor each moment. Watch life as it happens instead of pushing it out of the way in order to “get things done”.......

I have plans this week: a quick trip to the coast, if the weather's nice. Then another procedure on Thursday that will, hopefully, take away the rest of the pain in my back.

And then, the Super Bowl on Sunday.

I can list my days' activities as “this and this and this and that.....”

It's the AND that calls to me to pay attention. Don't ignore life as it happens....

Especially the “ands”.....

Cali

Two Weeks and Counting....

The countdown has started: back to work in a couple of weeks. I hope. I am ready.

I spend such disorganized days. It takes so long to get up and get going, it seems. I can get up early, I know I can. I've been up before the sun for YEARS; I can do it again.

I think I'm hard-wired to help others. I feel as if I am shirking my duty by not doing things for others. And yet, it has been hard, for all these months, just to do the normal, routine things for myself.

I have one more injection to go and then, fingers crossed, I'll be back at work. Taking care of patients, cursing at all the documentation that is necessary, and looking forward to days off. It's the American way, isn't it?

Today I went shopping. I bought new makeup! It has been so long since I wore any makeup that I have to “practice” for a couple of weeks before I start back to work. Otherwise, I might look like a, well, something out of a scary movie!

This break has taught me a lot: I can handle anything that comes along. But some things are easier to handle than others. And something important: I love my work. I love being able to impact the lives of others positively and help them feel better.

Besides, it's only for fifteen months. Then I retire.

Hallelujah!

Cali

V - I - C - T - O - R - Y...

It's funny how much it means to us sometimes. And is nearly meaningless other times.

Today, I really, really wanted the Packers to win. They haven't been in a Super Bowl since 1998. And they haven't played the Chicago Bears in a championship game in sixty years.

Moreover, after several years in Bret Favre's shadow, Aaron Rogers had a chance to shine. And he didn't, really. But, after the game, he graciously gave credit to the Packers' defense for the win. And admitted that he hadn't played his best game.

My favorite moment in the game? When 338-pound BJ Raji intercepted the ball and ran 18 yards for the third touchdown for the Packers. It was his first, ever. And the Packers needed it, too.

So, have I turned into a sports “nut”? No, I just enjoy watching football and eating pizza on a Sunday afternoon. And winning the game?

Priceless.....

Cali

In the Mood....

I don't know about you, but there are some things I cannot do unless I am in the right mood.

Sewing a zipper in a dress (remember those?). Organizing my bills and paying them. Cleaning out the refrigerator. Trying on clothes. Those are a few things that come to mind.

If the stars are not aligned in the sky, and my mind tells me it doesn't want any part of the project, there's no use even trying. I can tell you, from experience, that the only thing worse than sewing a zipper in a dress is taking a zipper OUT of a dress. And then having to sew it in again.

Been there, done that.

And when that magical, right mood happens? I drop whatever else I might have been doing and GO FOR IT! Like yesterday: the filing drawers are neat and tidy, old bills removed, new folders for new accounts, and now there's room to file more.

I didn't quite get to preparing the stuff to take to my CPA to do my taxes, but that's coming. And now, since I cleaned out two drawers of filing yesterday, the job will be much easier.

Ah, the feeling of accomplishment.....ain't it grand?

Cali

Choices...

It's cold and gray and drizzling here. It has been for days. Other than a jaunt up to the mountains, I haven't seen the sun in about a million years. Maybe a little less. Maybe more.

I'm trying to stay busy and stop looking outside. It's the same every time I look, so why bother?

It's just that time of year. The sky is gray and so is life, sort of. The holidays are over and it's a long time until bar-be-que season. Taxes are due in just a little less than three months. I should be getting everything together to take to my CPA but, of course, I don't want to.

The house needs airing out. I want the sun to shine so I can throw open the windows and let the fresh air in. I have burned candles, almost every day, to rid the house of cooking odors, but it's not the same as fresh air.

And then, I have to stop and remember: I cautioned a friend not to wish her life away. She was lamenting that winter was getting her down and she yearns for spring to get here.

Another friend told me yesterday that this year is a “bad” one, for her. Less than three weeks into the new year, and she's already decided it's a bad year? Oh dear. That's awful.

Today is today. Cold, gray, and not exactly bright and hopeful. But it is a day. The only day I have, right now. And it's mine to do with as I choose.

I choose to be happy. I choose to look around me and find the joy in today. I choose to be grateful for the people in my life, the work that I do, and the life that I lead. I choose to be thankful that, when I go shopping, there is a hand holding mine. Someone to help me choose the groceries and then carry them in the house. Someone to talk to when I have nothing to say.

And tonight, we will eat grilled cheese sandwiches and baked beans, then watch the first episode of American Idol. Together.

And it will be dark. Not gray and cloudy. Or sunny and bright. Just dark.

And tomorrow is another day....

Cali

Just Be......

Could it be? I've run out of words?

I can't think of a single thing to write about. Or is it that I have too many things to write about?

I think that's it. My mind is abuzz with thoughts. Things I cannot change but can't seem to stop thinking about.

That's the clue: stop thinking.

Get comfortable. Turn off the distractions. Let my mind go blank. Then invite the thoughts back in.

One at a time. Think it, then let it go. Think another thought, and let it go, too.

Reach a level of peace with all that is in my life. Those things I can influence, and those I cannot.

Let peace envelope me. Let life happen.

Just be....

Cali

Sweet....

What an interesting day it has been. Disappointing and good, at the same time.

I had hoped to go back to work at the end of this month, and now it will be postponed. I have to have another procedure done. And it can't be done until the first part of February.

So, I will wait to go back to work.

To get my mind off of it, we went to the mall in another town. Specifically, I wanted to see their Kohl's. It's a lovely, clean store. And it wasn't crowded, either.

We went to another discount store, in the same mall, just to look around. As we walked in, arm-in-arm, a woman looked at us and smiled a warm smile.

I have gotten used to that. It has happened a lot since he came to live with me: we go somewhere, and people smile at us. Young folks, too. Young men open doors for us, or move out of our way, saying “excuse me” as they move.

I have wondered why....

And now, I know: the lady today? She smiled, and said to us “you just look so sweet!” I couldn't think of anything to say except “thank you” as we walked by her.

And I smiled, too. It's nice to know that we leave that impression on others, isn't it? Wouldn't we all like to be appreciated that way?

It helped me get past the disappointment at the doctor's office. I know that, what needs to be, needs to be. I can't fix it by myself. I have to go with the treatment he prescribes. And the time line that has to be.

But, when all is said and done, it's okay. Why?

We're sweet!

Cali

Romance at Wally World...

Went to Wally World this afternoon. Not my favorite place to shop, but their prices are usually very good, so I made the trek to the one south of me.

I had my list made out: Swiffer stuff, saltines, hairspray, fun. Not a big list, except for the “fun”....

As we were looking in the cleaning section, I was pouring over the labels on the Swiffer duster and the Swiffer 360 duster. Ah, which one should I get? I decided on the regular Swiffer duster fairly quickly and for an obvious reason: the refills were cheaper.

And I had just gotten to the next big decision: lavender scented dusters? Citrus scented? Or plain? As if on cue, the store's lights went out and pitched us into darkness. Exactly! When I don't know what to buy, go dark!

We stood where we were. A lady appeared at the end of the aisle and told us to “head for the front of the store.” It wasn't really pitch black in the store: a few lights, on the emergency system, were still lit. But it was close enough to dark.

And yes, Wally World has cash registers that work on emergency power. We checked out at Register #4. I paid cash rather than take a chance on the ATM.

Oh, and I got the plain dusters......how romantic. NOT!

Cali

Thoughts About Being Blonde....

What is it that bothers me about blonde jokes? Is it just because I'm blonde? Or is it the implication that blondes are dumb?

I am not dumb. I was also known in school as “a brain.” That was equally hurtful, in it's own way. And now, it seems like such a dichotomy: to be thought of as dumb because I am blonde and to be thought of as a “brain” because I did so well in school.

It had an impact on me, obviously, because I'm still thinking about it all these years later.

And I wonder: why is it so wrong to make an ethnic comment about other Americans but it's okay to tell blonde jokes?

My ancestors were from Denmark. They were Vikings who went to England and became carpenters. They came to America in 1630, served in every war this country has fought, and have always been Americans, through and through.

And some of us are blonde....

Cali

Waiting For a Call....

I have spent the day waiting for a phone call. That is never fun to do. I guess it's easier now, with cell phones, than it was in “the old days.”

We had to wait at home, literally by the phone. Hoping it would ring early and then we would be free to spend our day more productively.

All I wanted to do was pay my bills online. My account was messed up and I kept getting error messages. Of course, I couldn't pay my bills, either.

The phone finally rang about half an hour ago. The lady in charge of electronic banking walked me through the process. It was quite easy, with her help.

I was feeling pretty stupid but, it wasn't my fault. It happened on their end. I just needed to make sure the settings were right on my end, then try to pay a bill online.

It worked!

Now, what to do with the remainder of the day.....

Cali

Simpleness....

I find myself thinking about “the good old days” today. Perhaps because of the horrific events of this weekend. Perhaps I would be thinking these thoughts anyway.

My mind wanders back to a simpler time. A time when everything seemed like fun and amusements were simple. A time when the world had not shown its ugly side. At least, not to a six-year-old child.

I realize that Thomas Wolfe was right: you cannot go home again.

All I can do is try to return the simple to my life now. Cherish what is important to me and ignore the everyday annoyances that seek to steal my serenity.

I think I'll go put on my apron and make biscuits...

Cali

God Bless Us....Please!

Today is a tragic day. People are dead, or wounded, because of a deranged young man's actions.

The congresswoman was meeting with her constituents, in front of a grocery store, collecting their thoughts on the country, the government, and things of concern to them. She was trying to take the pulse of those who elected her. Or voted against her.

It didn't matter: in her mind, she represents all of them.

And now, she is fighting for her life. A federal judge is dead. And a nine-year-old child. And three or four others, too, are dead. My prayers go up for those who were injured and for the families of those who died.

This is not how America works....

May God Bless All of Us.

Cali

Sunny Days....

It's foggy again. No sunshine yesterday at all. I hope it peeks through the fog today. I need sunshine. I need the warmth of the sun to melt away the pain I sometimes feel.

I am in the middle of lots of projects. Some big, some not so big. Somehow, in the fog, they all seem so very important. If the sun would just come out, I could “see” better!

I do try to keep busy every day. I work on projects and write, and try to maintain the house. Sometimes I can work for hours without pain. Sometimes 15 minutes is too much. Or used to be. The injections have helped. There is hope for the future to be pain-free and productive.

So now, I will go work on those projects. A little at a time. And dream of a sunny day.

A sunny, pain-free, productive, NORMAL day! They're coming....

I just know they are!

Cali

On Failure....

“You weren't created to be a failure.” I just read that on Facebook. I don't know who wrote it, but I like it.

It's like saying: “God don't make no junk!” I like that, too.

I think it begins with me. Instead of seeing what I cannot do, I must look at what I can do. Where do my talents lie? What contribution can I make to the world around me? How can I promote peace and harmony in this life?

And so, I will be me. A kind and gentle me. Loving, comforting, supportive, and forgiving. Of myself and of all others.

It feels good already....

Cali

Foggy Days....

The sun is shining, finally. It was quite foggy this morning. That's what happens: we have a lot of rain, the ground gets wet, and then, it's foggy.

I always worry about people driving to work in the fog. We seem to get in such a hurry to get where we're going and we drive a little too fast for the weather conditions. Of course, in the fog, we might not get where we're going at all....

Slow down a little. Turn on your lights. Open the window so you can hear what's happening around you, even if you cannot see. Start earlier, giving yourself more time to get where you're going. Err on the side of courtesy. Take the safest route you know.

And hope that the sun comes out, like it did today!

Be safe, All!

Cali

Moving On....

Indeed, it is time to move on.....

The holidays are over now. Noelle goes back to school tomorrow. And she turns eleven tomorrow, too.

So, today, we are packing her things in the car, getting ready for the trip north to her home. We have had a lovely time for two weeks and now, it is over.

Tomorrow, I will take down the Christmas trees and put the decorations away. Another holiday celebration is just a memory. And that's fine with me: memories are what make each day bearable. Memories, and the hope of more memories.

Life goes on, and so do we....

Cali

Regular Days.....

Today is just a regular day. It's not a holiday. It's not a birthday or anniversary—in my family, anyway. It's just a plain, old, regular day. No traditions. No celebrations. No special meals.

Just a day. Twenty-four hours. A beginning, middle, and end. A day in the life.....

And yet. Regular days are special, too, in their own way. It is a day in my life. It is mine to do with as I please. It is mine to waste, or mine to use for a good cause. I can clean and cook and work. Or I can sit, relax, and daydream. Or a little of everything.

One thing special days and regular days have in common: they come, and then they go. Regardless of how I use the day, I can never retrieve it. I can't change what I did yesterday. I can plan better for tomorrow, or today.

Today is the only day I have. Yesterday, and all the yesterdays, are just memories. Tomorrow is a dream, a hope, of what is to come.

I guess I'd better make something out of today. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Use it. Spend it. Remember it.

Carpe Diem, All!

Cali

A New Year....

It's a new dawn. It's a new day. It's even a new decade: the second one in a new millennium!

Such an auspicious day and date should not be taken lightly. I need to have plans. Hopes. Dreams. Goals. Resolutions? I don't think so....

What I wish for myself, I wish for you, too: Happiness, Peace, Contentment with your place in life, Love, Honor and Joy in the little things. It's the little things that comprise the big things, I think.

May you find just enough peanut butter to make yourself a sandwich, just enough sunshine to plant a garden full of flowers, just enough rain to nourish your soul, and abundant laughter to make everything it touches worthwhile.

Happy New Year, All!

Cali